The Shapeshifter vs the Blond Pig Rewritten
by sco23
Summary: What if instead of Lee, Daisuke Yagani fights Ino in the first round. Based off my story Team Anko. Ino Bashing and some Sasuke Bashing. Let me know if it's funny. One-shot. Re-written.


**I don't own Naruto.**

Here's a one-shot about what would happen if Daisuke had to fight Ino instead of Lee.

* * *

Haku coughed in her hand and said, "Will everyone look at the board. The two names that appears will step down on the field to begin the match while the others watch from the balcony."

Haku explained the rules, "There is no time limit in this match. You can use anything in your disposal. The match ends if I feel that one can't continue, or if a person gives up, gets knocked out or dies. I will try to prevent deaths as much as I can, but for your sakes don't expect me to end the match, because intense fights really turn me on."

The screen ran through names and stopped.

Everyone looks at the screen as it says: **Daisuke Yagani vs. Ino Yamanaka**.

Daisuke turned into The Price Is Right game show announcer and said, "Ino Yamanaka, come on down."

Everyone did an anime roll, while Mai bopped Daisuke in the head.

Daisuke rubbed his head as he went over to his teammates.

"Oh great," growled Ino. "I have to fight the tickle monster."

"Hey Ino," said Shikamaru. "You don't have to fight him, there's no shame in giving up."

"Hell no, I won't back down from this jerk, I don't care how much he tickles me, I'll beat him" said a determined Ino.

"Troublesome," said Shikamaru. "It's not his tickle powers you should concern yourself with, it's his shape shifting games. My guess is that he'll turn into the people your close to and use them against you. No matter what he turns into, it's just him playing mind games with you."

"Don't worry so much Shikamaru," said Ino. "He's close to dead last and I'm one of the top kunoichi's, I'm smarter than he is. And besides me and the girls use to beat him and Naruto up before he discovered that accursed tickle jutsu."

Meanwhile over on Team Anko's side, Daisuke, Mai and Sora were having a conversation.

"Good luck, Daisuke-kun," said Sora giving him a good luck kiss.

"Thanks Sora," said Daisuke blushing. "This should be easy. I always wanted to put a Sasuke fangirl in her place."

"Are you going to use your secret weapon," asked Sora.

"That all depends on the course of this battle and besides she might expect me to use it first, so I'm going to try something different, that I never tried before," said Daisuke.

"Hold it," said Mai tugging on the back of his shirt.

"What is it," said Daisuke.

"You know that Yamanaka's specialize in mind jutsu. Just because she's a fangirl, doesn't necessarily mean she's a weakling. She may have trained since we graduated, then again she might not, just be careful not to underestimate her or fall into her trap," said Mai.

"Roger," said Daisuke giving her a thumb up and a smile.

Mai just rolled her eyes and sighed.

Daisuke and Ino faced each other on the field.

"So Barbie, I see that you fixed your hair up. Is Ken coming to pick you up tonight and take you out for porkchops," joked Daisuke.

Ino's left eye twitched.

"You are so annoying," growled Ino.

"You know it mummy girl," said Daisuke.

"Begin," said Haku.

Ino took up a sexy pose and wink at Daisuke and took off her hair band.

"What the fuck is she doing," shouted Sora.

"My guess, she's trying to seduce Daisuke, in order to make him lose," said Mai.

"Oh, Daisuke-kun, if you forfeit I'll let you feel on my breast and maybe something else," said Ino.

"Oh hell no," shouted Sora. "Disqualification be damned. Ino Yamanaka, if I have to come down there, I'm bringing a huge ass whooping with your name on it, and it will be the one your daddy never gave your spoiled little narrow ass."

"Sora calm down, your making a scene, and besides Daisuke's not that stupid," said Mai.

"Ino, as tempting as it is, I'm afraid I have to decline," said Daisuke.

"What, why," shouted Ino.

"Because even though the power of the P-U-S-S-Y has a strong hold over men, I have trained myself to keep myself on lockdown until I get the right girl, that is," said Daisuke as he looked at Sora and winked at her.

"And to quote Snoop Dogg to Lisa Lampanelli, I wouldn't touch or eat your nasty ass pussy for all the weed in the world, Biotch" said Daisuke giving Ino the middle finger.

"Damn," shouted everyone.

"Treated her ass," said Sora.

Ino furious about being treated ran at Daisuke trying to get a punch in, but Daisuke jumped out of the way.

"Like a typical fangirl," chuckled Daisuke.

"I'll show you," shouted Ino taking out a kunai and throwing it at Daisuke.

Daisuke took out two Kunai and threw one at Ino's kunai blocking it and threw another at Ino's head. Ino moved out of the way, but not fast enough as the kunai, cut off her bang from the root.

"Did I do that," asked Daisuke.

"My bang," shouted Ino. "I'll kill you for this. Do you know how long it takes to grow this?"

"Oh stop your whining, blond banshee," said Daisuke. "It'll probably cover your eye eventually and that would be bad if the enemy is attacking your right side, so I did you a favor."

Meanwhile on the balcony the rest of the contestants watched.

"All right Daisuke," shouted Naruto. "You got her on the run."

"Hey Ino-pig, you better beat that bastard," shouted Sakura.

"Shut up billboard brow," shouted Ino.

"She's playing right into his hands," said Chouji.

"I know Chouji, this could turn out bad," said Shikamaru.

"You know, if that happens in a real mission, you'll be dead," said Daisuke.

"Shut up, you are so annoying," shouted an enraged Ino charging at him.

Ino was able to punch Daisuke in the jaw, kicked him in the stomach, slammed her head against his and kick him to the ground.

"Ouch," winced Sora and Mai as they watch their teammate fall to the ground.

"Damn, it's like that," said Daisuke getting up.

"I know you don't hit girls, so I got nothing to worry about," said Ino.

"Your right about one thing, I don't like to hit girls, so I'll just have to become one," said Daisuke as he turned into Sakura.

"Forehead, is that you," shouted Ino.

"That's right piggy," said Fake Sakura as she punched Ino in the face.

"This does not bode well," said Mai.

"I know, but hopefully Daisuke will triumph," said Sora.

Ino got up and wipe the blood from her mouth.

"Look at you, Ino-pig I bet Sasuke doesn't even want you now and besides he's not your type, I always be seeing him checking out Naruto," said Fake Sakura.

"I'm not gay," shouted Naruto.

"What did you say," shouted Ino.

"What I'm saying bitch, I'm not the boy you and your fellow bitches used to bully," said Fake Sakura.

"Daisuke, you better watch who the fuck you mouthing off to, do you know who your talking to, don't fuck with me asshole," shouted Ino.

"I'm talking to a hopeless, spoiled, fangirl bitch who cares more about her looks than being a serious kunoichi," said Fake Sakura.

"You want to see serious, Daisuke, I'll show you serious just don't come crying when I beat your ass," said Ino as she took her hitae-ate and tied it around her head.

Wow, Daisuke sure making Ino mad, isn't that out of line," asked Naruto.

"Not at all, in fact this is one of Daisuke's strategies," said Mai.

"What is it," asked Naruto.

"Daisuke is a jokester, he's not really mean or callous or a jerk, he is very compassionate mostly, but he knows that he needs to win by any means necessary, he likes to play with peoples emotions in a battle causing them to not think straight and eventually cause them to lose a battle," said Mai.

"That's what I like to see, Ino," smiled Fake Sakura. "A kunoichi that's serious about being a ninja."

"I'll give it everything I got," said Ino.

"Get ready, Ino, cause it's about to be a what, a girl fight," said Fake Sakura.

Ino and Fake Sakura charged at each other.

Ino punched Fake Sakura. Fake Sakura punched her back. Ino kicked her in the face and punched her in the jaw sending her back.

"It's not going so well for Daisuke," said Naruto.

"Come on Ino," shouted Sakura.

Fake Sakura got behind Ino and put her in a chokehold. Ino elbowed her in the gut, knocking the wind out of Fake Sakura. Fake Sakura quickly recovered and landed a kick and a punch knocking her down.

"I thought you were going to give me your best, Miss Piggy," taunted Fake Sakura.

"I'll give you my best, Daisuke and I'll promise you, you're not going to like it," said Ino.

"Less talking, more fighting Babe," said Fake Sakura.

Ino charged at Fake Sakura. Ino landed a punched at Fake Sakura's shoulder. Fake Sakura and Ino grabbed each other's hands and attempted to pushed each other back being equally match. Fake Sakura pulled her fist back and punched Ino in the face. Ino attempted to kick Fake Sakura's legs, but she jumped up and kicked Ino across the face, sending her to the ground. Ino got up and threw a shurikan at Fake Sakura nicking her arm.

"I can tell this battle is going to last for a while," said Haku, "Oh well, at least I get paid."

Meanwhile Ino and Fake Sakura continued to pound each other.

"Man, I didn't know Sakura was that tough," thought Ino.

Ino and Fake Sakura pulled their fist back and punched each other on the jaws sending them crashing to the floor with Fake Sakura turning back into Daisuke. Both of them got up and glared at each other.

"How can you be evenly match with me in forehead's form," shouted Ino.

"I don't know," said Daisuke rubbing his chin. "I'm only as strong as the person I become, either Sakura's become strong or you become weak. Maybe it's your obsession with your hair that makes you weak. I hear that Sasuke likes girls with long hair, but hey it's just a rumor. A rumor that broke your friendship with Sakura, that is."

"Fuck you asshole," shouted Ino as she pulled out a kunai. "You're going to pay. I'm sick of you making fun of me, Daisuke. You're going to get yours."

Ino cut her hair, much to the shock of everyone.

"She's lost her damn mind," said Sora.

"That's it, I had enough of you," shouted Ino as she threw her hair. "I don't need this."

"Damn Ino, I never thought you would go butch like that," said Daisuke.

"You are so going to get it, I'm going to finish this and make you tell people that you lost to me," shouted Ino in a rage as she put her hands in a sign.

"She's not that stupid is she," shouted Mai.

"What's happening," asked Naruto.

"Ino's about to use her family jutsu: the mind body switch technique, it's a technique that allows Ino to send her spirit into another person. It's use mainly for spying, not attacking, because the spirit can only go straight, if she misses she won't be able to get back into her body for several minutes and she'll be vulnerable," said Mai.

"That means Daisuke has a chance to win," said Naruto.

"If he can dodge it," said Mai.

"Ino, are you that desperate to win that you would risk your own safety to do it. You know what will happen if you miss right," said Daisuke.

"So what, I don't care, I won't know if I don't try," shouted Ino.

"You're funeral," said Daisuke.

"Mind body switch technique," shout Ino as she fell limp.

"That'll do pig, that'll do," said Daisuke. "Looks like I win."

As Daisuke move toward her, he finds himself stuck.

"What the hell," shouted Daisuke looking down at his feet

Daisuke was shocked that he had chakra strings wrapped around his feet leading to Ino.

"Shit," shouted Daisuke.

"Well, well, looks like I've tricked a trickster," said Ino.

"No way, I can't believe this," shouted Daisuke.

"Believe it," said Ino.

"Hey, that's Naruto's line," said Daisuke.

"Believe it," shouted Naruto.

"All those hand sign's were fake to trick you into running into my trap, so welcome to my parlor said the spider to the fly," said Ino.

"Why can't I move," shouted Daisuke.

"Because you're being held by a special rope that is made from hair from my chakra. Now that your trapped, I can take over your body and make you give up this match," said Ino.

"Daisuke get out of there," shouted Sora.

"I would if I could, Sora," said Daisuke sadly.

"I won't miss this time. Mind body switch technique," shouted Ino.

Ino's body fell limp as Daisuke head fell forward.

Everyone was waiting in suspense.

Daisuke raised his head up and smiled.

"That's really unfortunate," said Daisuke.

"Are you ok Daisuke-kun," said Sora.

"Daisuke's not here right now," said Ino in Daisuke's body.

"What's happening to Daisuke," asked Naruto.

"Ino's succeeded in taking over his body," said Sora sadly.

"And just like that it's over, now Daisuke if you would be so kind," thought Ino.

The possessed Daisuke raised his hand, "I Daisuke Yagani, hereby with-."

"Daisuke, don't even think about it," shouted Naruto.

"Man, that kids about as annoying as Daisuke," said Ino.

"Daisuke if you can hear me, don't let Ino push you around, she's just a loser fangirl," shouted Naruto.

"Naruto's right, you're better than this," shouted Mai.

"Daisuke fight her, don't give up," shouted Sora.

"Yell all you want, he can't hear you," said Ino.

Suddenly the possessed Daisuke was shaking.

"What's happening to him," asked Sora.

"Daisuke's trying to break Ino's control," said Mai.

"You can do it Daisuke," shouted Naruto.

"What's happening," shouted Ino.

* * *

In Daisuke's mind, Ino felt herself losing control.

"How is this happening," thought Ino.

Suddenly Ino heard a giggle and turned around to see Daisuke behind her.

"I'll be glad to answer that Porky. You see this is my mind, it's not for anyone to control but me and you just came here without permission and now you have to suffer the consequences," said Daisuke.

"Are you going to tickle me," asked Ino nervously.

"In due time" smiled Daisuke "But first let me show you how powerful my imagination really is."

A bright light covered Ino blinding her for a few seconds. When she opened her eyes she saw that nothing happened.

"Ha, so much for not doing anything to me," mocked Ino.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately," said Daisuke pointing at a mirror.

Ino looked at a mirror and what she saw shocked her. She was literally a fat bipedal pig wearing the same clothes.

"What the fuck have you done to me," shouted Ino or rather squealed like a pig.

"That's just one of the penalties and I can assure you there's more where that came from," said Daisuke.

Ino looked around Daisuke's mindscape and saw it has become a city.

"Where the hell am I," shouted Ino.

Ino saw a sign that says: Welcome to Angel Grove.

"What the hell is Angel Grove," shouted Ino.

Suddenly a large beam hit Ino from behind causing her to fall back. Ino turned around and saw Daisuke and six other people wearing costumes. (We all know who they are.)

"All right guys we got the pig monster," shouted Daisuke.

"Morphinomical," said the one in the blue.

"Oh, Daisuke-kun let us bear your children," shouted the girls in pink and yellow.

"You should be the leader instead of me and eventually Tommy," said the one in the red.

"Even you are more powerful than me," said the one in the green.

"Hey, Daisuke after this can you teach me how to juke and crank that Soulja boy so I can finally get Angela's and Aisha's asses," said the one in the black.

"Sure my brotha," said Daisuke.

Ino got up and was shocked at the outcome.

"What's going on here," squealed Ino.

"It's still alive," shouted the one in the green.

"Not for long," said Daisuke taking out his sword and striking the monster.

"God damn it, will you stop it Daisuke," shouted Ino.

Suddenly the sky turned dark and a figure appeared. Ino looked at the figure and saw that it looked like Sasuke only he was wearing a black bra and a thong.

"Oh no it's our arch nemesis Sas-Uke the emotemedouchebag, cover your eyes," shouted Daisuke.

Ino was shocked at the display and tried to attack Daisuke.

"Stop, so I can give you power to crush the rangers" shouted Sasuke taking off his thong.

All the rangers threw up at the sight.

"Oh my god, his wee-wee is smaller than Kiba's," shouted the one in pink.

"Magic thong, make my useless fangirl grow," shouted Sasuke as he threw thong at Ino.

The thong wrapped around Ino and made her grow.

"All right, we need Dinozord power and Dragonzord power now," shouted Daisuke.

The zords came out of their hideouts and Daisuke and the rangers jumped into the cockpit.

The zords combined to form the megazord. The megazord and the dragonzord attacked Ino.

"It's not enough Daisuke, what do we do," shouted the one in the red.

"I have an idea, I call on the power of Titanus the Ultrazord," shouted Daisuke.

Ino looked in fear as a huge Brachiosaurus with cannons came from the side.

"Let's finish it," shouted Daisuke as the megazord and the dragonzord combined and got on the brachiosaurus back.

Ino tried to run away as the Ultrazord came near her, but was frozen.

"Lock on and fire all weapons," shouted Daisuke as all the weapons fired at Ino making her fall and exploded.

All the rangers cheered for the victory.

"Anybody up for bacon," laughed Daisuke.

"Curse you power rangers," shouted Sasuke as he disappeared.

* * *

Ino was back in Daisuke's mindscape. She was about to get up when Daisuke came near her.

"Now for the finale," grinned Daisuke as he came toward her.

On the outside, It's been ten seconds since Ino lost control.

Suddenly the possessed Daisuke's eye's glowed pink and suddenly the body turned into Ino.

Hahahahahahahahahaha stop it hahahaha that tickles, hahahahahahahaha it's impossible hahahehehehe how is hehehehehe he doing hahahaha this," laughed Ino.

Fake Ino turned back into Daisuke and gave a yell while his eyes glowed pink. Suddenly all the females in the building were laughing like crazy at being tickled.

"Hahahaha what's hahaha happening," laughed Sora.

"Daisuke hahahaha is trying to force Ino hahahahaha out by tickling hehehehehe her, but he using all his chakra to force her out hahahaha that's why hehehe we're all affected hahahahaha." laughed Mai.

"Make it stop, hahahahaha I can't take any more tickling hehahaha," laughed Kin.

"No hahahaha not again hahahaha," laughed Tenten.

"Hahahahaha why did I agree to be proctor hahahahaha," laughed Haku.

"I hahaha really hahahaha hate this hehe guy," laughed Temari.

"He's hahaha running laps after this hahaha," laughed Anko.

"Anko, hahaha why did you allow this hahaha," laughed Kurenai.

Hinata was secretly enjoying this.

* * *

Meanwhile in Daisuke's head, Ino was tied to a surgery table and was being tickled tortured all over her body by Daisuke.

"Had enough, Ino," smile Daisuke.

"Yes hehehe make it stop hahahaha please hahahahaha I can't stand it hahahaha," laughed Ino.

"Leave my body and I'll stop," said Daisuke.

"Disengage," said Ino.

Ino was able to get back to her body and Daisuke was able to regain control of his body. Both were exhausted by their ordeal and were almost out of chakra.

"Just how were you able to regain control," asked Ino.

"I guess I needed to be reminded by my friends that I vow not to let anyone push me around, and it's my mind and imagination," said Daisuke.

"Look, forcing you out drained me of most of my chakra as me tickling the shit out of your spirit has exhausted your body, so let's get one last hit in," said Daisuke.

"So you know that I'm exhausted as well huh," said Ino. "Alright let's do this."

Ino and Daisuke charged at each other with their fists raised for one final blow. Just before they collided Daisuke used the last of his chakra to stretch his arm a few inches and was able to hit Ino harder than she hit him. They were both sent back to the ground and both were struggling to get up. Ino fell to the ground unconscious, While Daisuke stood up.

Haku checked Ino and was confirmed that she was out.

"The winner of the first round is Daisuke Yagani," said Haku.

"So I won and I get to move to the next round," asked Daisuke.

"Yes," said Haku.

"Well in that case, peace I'm out," said Daisuke as he fell to the ground unconscious.

Asuma and Anko went to the field and picked up their students to put them on the balcony.

Ino and Daisuke's teammates, Naruto and Lee came to check upon them.

"Are they alright," asked Naruto.

"They're fine," said Anko. "They just needed to rest for a while."

"Mommy, Miss Piggy, Babe, and Gordy is in my room again and they are eating up all my food," said Daisuke in his sleep.

Everyone laughed.

When Daisuke and Ino woke up, they began to talk with each other.

"Look Ino, I just want to apologize for the things I've said during our fight, we are Konoha nins and we should treat each other better," said Daisuke.

"I'm sorry for bullying you in the academy," said Ino.

Apology accepted," they both said as they shook hands

"Good luck in the second round, Daisuke," said Ino.

"Thank's Ino," said Daisuke. "If you ever need a sparring partner, you know where to find me."

"I'd like that," said Ino. "Come on, I want to see the rest of the fight."

The end.


End file.
